when there's no else..

 

that's how today was. and how august 13 last month was. it's been a long time and usually it doesn't even cross my mind nor if i do speak of it, do i cry but today.. there were some tears. honestly, i dislike feeling this way but i dislike even more that i didn't have a friend or significant other or whatever to talk to so google blogger, thanks for listening.

 

 

 

 

 

 

today is almost over. breathe a sigh of a relief and tomorrow is a new day. anything can happen.

 

what it's like..

“What it's like to be a parent: It's one of the hardest things you'll ever do but in exchange it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love.” 

 

 

this week has been really hard. and when i say really, i mean REALLY. my emotions are all over the place and my heart aches.

i started a new position at work (BVME) and gavin started pre-school! that may not seem like a lot to you but it's a big change and a new routine for gavin and myself. i made this choice to take this on and i think i made right choice. however, i had no idea how many heartbreaking moments mothers go through with their child until i became a mother. i develop more and more respect each day for my own mother (and dad) and other mothers especially single mothers.

thank god for my parents, brother and sista. they have always been there for me, my emotional support and truth in my life.

 

 

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."

choices.

 

 

 

 

it is completely worth it.

even through the hard choices that I have/had to make.

 

in the long run, I know I am making the best choices possible and will continue to feel confident about them.

literally

literally.
just some thoughts of late.


*the brain is the most amazing organ in the body. how is it that you can go to sleep and wake up & remember all the wonderful memories (and awful ones) but in an instant, something happens, and you lose your memory. and then there are things that we have blocked out for so long but have a way of coming back into our thoughts? literally amazing.

*we're always saying, "can't wait", "i wish it was tomorrow, the 2nd, etc", "is it 5pm (or whatever time) yet?".. so i'm making myself enjoy the in-the-moment and focusing on the day. as i get older, time seems to go by faster and faster each day.

*dreams that i have been having have literally been scaring me. i woke up in tears from last nights dream. they feel too real and i hope they aren't going to be actually real.

*i'm tired of stressing about money. i'm tired of living literally dollar to dollar. no matter what i do, no matter what "rules" i follow to save money, i never get ahead to actually save or when i do save some, it's gone because another bill needs to get paid, etc.  a little overwhelmed.

*but no matter what crap is going on or the crap that other people pull, i have a lot of be thankful for, period.


just breathe.
and scream sometimes :P

safari fun

gavin's 2nd birthday party

welcome to the terrific twos!

party signs

safari animal cupcakes

peanuts, of course!

bday boy eating his cupcake :)

(just a few pics)

*safari animal themed (mainly elephants, lions, zebras, giraffes and gorillas.. he loves those animals!)

*lots of yummy food

*homemade decor

*family and friends

seriously.. my little baby is two already? it really seems like the other day i was pregnant and getting ready for him to enter this world and now i am getting him ready for pre-school next year. i am so excited for this next adventure, for all the learning, fun, joy, and everything you get with the twos :)





leaving pieces..



it's easier to leave pieces behind than having them weigh you down.

it's time to leave more pieces everywhere i go..

every..

.....