nothing is... I'mpossible

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."

Sometimes, it takes awful news/tragic events to truly appreciate life. But then, time goes on and it goes to the back of your mind. When it happens to someone close to you, it affects you even more. One of my aunts has been diagnosed with breast cancer and as I'm typing this, my heart just sinks. No one deserves to go through this but she is literally a woman that is one of the most beautiful (and strongest) women I have the privilege of knowing and having as a family member. I keep sending positive thoughts/vibes/prayers for her and the family. I think with her passion for life, her positive mind-set, love, and unconditional love & support from all of us in the family (and friends), she can kick this thing in the ass!

I have learned that life (and our bodies, think about it) is so fragile and strong at the same time. What I'm trying to say is; I'm going to take chances, do what I want/need, forgive & forget (well as much as possible), appreciate everyday, follow my dreams and make them a reality. We have this one life (as far as we know) to do things right and really LIVE so why do we waste it on focusing on the negative things, being upset, fighting, etc.? That is just one (of the millions)of life's mysteries.

Nothing is impossible, the word itself says "I'm possible"!

anything is possible.. you never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have. 

FINALLY..

it FINALLY happened.....

freddy + ethel = friends!

they still fuss and hiss at each other sometimes, they may eat each others food, use each others litter boxes BUT sleeping on the same bed AND they ate off the same plate when I gave them tuna.  **purr**

love always*

out of sight, out of mind

*powerful
*at ease
*can breathe a little easier
*can sleep a little bit better
*HAPPY
*comfortable

is how I feel since the last box of crap is FINALLY gone from the mr. ex crap. It may not seem like a big deal but to me, it is. getting rid of this stuff that we shared, that I bought for him, he got for me, etc.. I did it alone and it was my way of some closure. sometimes I get so wrapped up in being angry and hurt that I forget that I am strong and much better than to let him defeat me. The whole process of getting rid of (so) much, I kept thinking, "we were supposed to grow old together", "we were supposed to be a family and keep it growing". It's tough to face the truth but literally, I'd be worse if I didn't know the truth. and part of me feels like some people knew what he was doing/going to do. I just can only hope that the friends (that were friends with both of us) are loyal to either me or him, not both.

I just really need a friend.. I feel so far away from the friends I have that I'm so afraid that I'm going to lose the closeness of them. When I moved out here from PA, the friends I had became distant and when I would visit, some were nowhere to be found. Everyone has their own lives and schedules (I know that, I am one of them), but having friends (and family) makes us who we are and helps us in every way.

VENTING: it feels good and needs to be done.

love always*

short and sweet

april is a great month!

*25th birthday

*hoppy easter

*purchased my bridesmaid dress! only 7 months to go until the big day for my friend, kathleen. i hope it is everything she wants and dreams about! she deserves it and it's about damn time!

*gavin is 21 months

*baseball season starts

short and sweet.

love always

hoppy easter

gavin's 1st easter: april 23, 2011 (9 months)

gavin's 2nd easter: april 8, 2012 (21 months)

TIME goes by way too quickly. In barely a year, my little baby is now my little man.

Easter was a great day because:
*gavin found his basket in his car and dumped it all out then put the grass in his hair and giggled with his cute laugh
*went on to dump all the other baskets and play with the grass
*freddy and ethel found their little pink basket with treats in it
*gavin & grandpa played with hot wheels (he has already figured it all out. he is so stinkin smart!)
*made a yummy dinner: ham, au gratin potatoes, corn and rolls
*watched baseball! indians won and the rangers won!!!!
*beautiful day
*ate lots of chocolate, peeps, candy
*had family time and got to talk with my brother & sista sista
*heard from my bffff!

Happy Easter!

love always.

birthday traditions

I LOVE birthdays! and keeping birthday traditions going.

My 25th birthday was yesterday and it was one of the best birthdays yet! Why?

*lunch with my mama and gavin
*RELAXED during gavin's nap (he slept a little longer too)
*dinner with my parents and gavin at a new sushi place called fortune cookies (super yummy and new favorite!)
*beautiful "gavin" necklace from my brother and sister-in-law (they are amazing and the best EVER)
*TEXAS RANGERS hoodie!!!!
*funfetti cake baked by my mama
*tear jerker cards from my parents and brother & sister-in-law
*card from gavin. he drew with crayons all over it and the envelope; just simply love.
*sarris chocolate pretzels & target gift card from my bffff, sara! she knows me so well. no matter how long we go without talking or seeing each other, we always pick up right where we left off and are always there for each other. i love that i have that kind of friend!
*birthday tradition: decorations, cake and sing happy birthday
*birthday texts/calls from family and some friends, so sweet!

love always.

the best thing..

The best thing (to me)....

watching this little man grow up, change, become his own, form a personality (he becomes more precious, cute each day), the way he looks at the world.. is just plain amazing. I had no idea how much impact becoming a mother would have on me but it has completely changed me, inside and out.

Thing I've learned since becoming a mama:

*patience

*unconditional love

*life goes by way too fast so slow down and really focus on what matters

*love at first sight

*to be thankful when I can use the restroom alone or shower or eat

*that I want more kids

*new found respect for my parents

*best experience of my life

love always.